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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has shared:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has downloaded:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has viewed:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

How many of y’all are β€œburn a CD” and β€œlime wire” old?

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

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13,902

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10,930

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Making waves on TikTok:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Shared recently on Discord:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Trending via Snapchat:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Just shared via Slack:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Making waves on Facebook:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.
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Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! πŸ™ˆπŸš—πŸ’₯"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has copied:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has downloaded:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has copied:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Slack:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Making waves on Instagram:

How is it still this week?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Trending via Pinterest:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Making waves on Telegram:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Reported on X:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

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