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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has downloaded:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,877

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on X:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Shared recently on TikTok:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Just landed via Messenger:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Trending via Telegram:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Just shared via TikTok:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Trending via LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

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A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.
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Commentary:
Ah, no wonder some folks confuse touchdowns with treaties! πŸˆπŸ“œ Who needs a touchdown dance when you can have a historical huddle? πŸ•°οΈπŸŸοΈ Let's all take a moment to appreciate the importance of a well-rounded education! πŸ“šπŸŒŸ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

24 shares on Threads this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has viewed:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has shared:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on TikTok:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Just landed via Threads:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

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