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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Just landed via Discord:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Live now on Discord:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Spotted on Twitch:

My favorite color is money.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Spotted on Telegram:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Breaking via Threads:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

1 week ago

Humorous quote about politics and history, highlighting misunderstandings with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, no wonder some folks confuse touchdowns with treaties! 🏈📜 Who needs a touchdown dance when you can have a historical huddle? 🕰️🏟️ Let's all take a moment to appreciate the importance of a well-rounded education! 📚🌟

coach, education, football, history, humor, lot, misunderstanding, politics, teacher, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

74 shares on Slack this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Fries, not lies.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

This sex could have been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Spotted on Facebook:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Making waves on Twitch:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Live now on Slack:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Trending via Instagram:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Just landed via Facebook:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

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