Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
  • Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
  • I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.
  • I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.
  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”
  • Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.