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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

6 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Making waves on Discord:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Just shared via TikTok:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Spotted on Discord:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Just shared via Facebook:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Live now on Discord:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

4 months ago

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶 "Our dogs see us as dedicated full-time playmates, always ready for a game of fetch or a belly rub. Meanwhile, our cats just assume we're part of the 'sleeping 18 hours a day' club. Hey, at least we're keeping them entertained with our unemployment shenanigans!" 😺 #FurBabyPerspectives

cat, dog, fired, job, lazy, spend, think, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

6 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Making waves on Reddit:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Freshly posted on X:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Seen just now on Discord:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Seen just now on Slack:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Just shared via X:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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