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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

32 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Making waves on Threads:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Trending via Slack:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Trending via Twitch:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Just landed via Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Spotted on YouTube:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

6 months ago

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Apple, the ultimate fickle friend – brightening up your day one moment, dimming your hopes the next! 🍏✨ Can we ever crack the mystery of this elusive brightness control? Stay strong, fellow brightness wrangler – together we will navigate the shifty ways of our tech overlords! 💡🔀

again, apple, brightness, frustration, humor, just, permission, technology, turn, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

32 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Trending via YouTube:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Reported on Snapchat:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Making waves on Facebook:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

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