Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Going viral on X:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Breaking via Pinterest:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Trending via Slack:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

7 days ago

Playful quote about Apple secretly controlling your screen brightness with a witty tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Apple, the ultimate fickle friend – brightening up your day one moment, dimming your hopes the next! 🍏✨ Can we ever crack the mystery of this elusive brightness control? Stay strong, fellow brightness wrangler – together we will navigate the shifty ways of our tech overlords! 💡🔀

again, apple, brightness, frustration, humor, just, permission, technology, turn, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Slack this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

45 shares on X this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

69 shares on Threads this month:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

All roads lead to disappointment.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Going viral on Instagram:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Seen just now on Slack:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Live now on Messenger:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Shared recently on X:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Breaking via Threads:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Breaking via Facebook:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

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