Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

4,021

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Going viral on TikTok:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Breaking via Reddit:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Trending via WeChat:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

2 months ago

0

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Apple, the ultimate fickle friend – brightening up your day one moment, dimming your hopes the next! 🍏✨ Can we ever crack the mystery of this elusive brightness control? Stay strong, fellow brightness wrangler – together we will navigate the shifty ways of our tech overlords! 💡🔀

again, apple, brightness, frustration, humor, just, permission, technology, turn, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

0

1 month ago

again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever
Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, hang, hang up, humor, important, insult, note, self
Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

0

2 months ago

adventure, ask, dinosaur, end, fun, humor, i, just, much, once, relaxation, slide, too, wish, workday
Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

0

2 months ago

dad, excitement, exciting, golf, humor, irony, Masters, napping, sports
That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

0

1 month ago

5pm, afternoon, humor, joke, nap, sleep, tiredness, urge
The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

0

5 months ago

comparison, difference, humor, i, joke, me, need, super, super vision, superman, supervision, vision, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

39 shares on Threads this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

56 shares on Slack this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

74 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,986

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Trending via X:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴