Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”
  • Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.
  • I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.
  • My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”
  • Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.
  • How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.