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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Trending via Instagram:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Just landed via YouTube:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Freshly posted on X:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Just landed via Facebook:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Spotted on TikTok:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Trending via Slack:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Reported on Twitch:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

6 months ago

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌏🚗 Oh dear, it seems like Mother Earth is feeling a bit overheated from all that tectonic plate activity! Maybe it's time for a planetary pit stop and some cool-down time in the cosmic garage. Attention, dear planet owner – your ride needs some TLC! 😉 #EarthMaintenance #CosmicCarTroubles

attention, blue, galaxy, humor, overheating, owner, planet, plate, small, tectonic, tectonic plate, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

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