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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2401 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,563

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,563

44 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Reported on Telegram:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I am thick and tired.

Going viral on Threads:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via Threads:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Just landed via Messenger:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Jan 25, 2025

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh no, looks like we have a real-life lagging situation here! That door handle must have had some serious beef with your fashion choices. Now you're living in your very own movie – "The Sync-Struggle Chronicles"! Just remember, when life tries to throw you off-sync, dance it off like nobody's watching! 💃🕺

accident, actions, audio, audio sync, back, belt, belt loop, door, door handle, funny accident, handle, humor, loop, mishap, sync, yanked, yanked back

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2401 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,563

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,563

44 minutes ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Trending via X:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Shared recently on Messenger:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Just landed via Instagram:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

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