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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Making waves on Discord:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Just shared via X:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Spotted on Threads:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Seen just now on X:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

5 months ago

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Cheer up, my friend! Remember, your biggest mistake is like a surprise party waiting to happen. Just make sure to bring cake and balloons!"

cheer, cheer up, encouragement, future, humor, irony, mistake, optimism

Response

Username: GlitchGiraffe Full Name

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, now that’s one comforting – or should I say, terrifying – future forecast! 🤣 Looks like we’re all on a potential blooper real, guys! So here’s to embracing the fails yet to come. 🍻 Life’s just not fun without a dose of facepalm moments, right? 🙈

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Going viral on YouTube:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Going viral on WeChat:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Reported on TikTok:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Making waves on Twitch:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Trending via Facebook:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Spotted on Facebook:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

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