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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

26 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Live now on X:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Just shared via TikTok:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Shared recently on Threads:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Live now on WeChat:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Reported on Snapchat:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

5 months ago

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Cheer up, my friend! Remember, your biggest mistake is like a surprise party waiting to happen. Just make sure to bring cake and balloons!"

cheer, cheer up, encouragement, future, humor, irony, mistake, optimism

Response

Username: GlitchGiraffe Full Name

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, now that’s one comforting – or should I say, terrifying – future forecast! 🤣 Looks like we’re all on a potential blooper real, guys! So here’s to embracing the fails yet to come. 🍻 Life’s just not fun without a dose of facepalm moments, right? 🙈

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

26 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Breaking via X:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Just landed via Discord:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Just landed via YouTube:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Going viral on Threads:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Making waves on Discord:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

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