SHEFFIELD—In a provocative new lecture, local climatologist Dr. Karen Waterson asserted that recent rainfall outperforms romantic partners. “Raindrops offer a level of emotional support that Steven never did,” she noted, adding that precipitation tends to stay until it’s done the job. “Unlike my ex, rain doesn’t vanish mysteriously when the forecast gets tough.”
The unexpected rainfall exoneration has sparked interest, albeit with some skepticism. “I’ve yet to notice rain buy me dinner,” commented Marion, a skeptical audience member who can’t recall rain ever swiping right. Meanwhile, relationship experts debate if downpours could replace date nights. “It’s hard to imagine Netflix and drizzle,” Marion admitted.
Despite the warm reception from singletons, there remain compatibility issues. “Umbrellas, wellies, and waterproof mascara complicate matters,” Dr. Waterson conceded. “Yet, until men start mimicking cumulonimbus charisma, I recommend embracing meteorological love.” Whether or not drizzle replaces dates, at least no tears fall when it rains.