Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Just landed via Threads:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Just shared via Messenger:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Spotted on Twitch:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Making waves on Discord:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Going viral on Slack:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the only 'compatibility' issue here is between humans and their dating algorithms. Who knew computers had such high standards for a partner's processing power?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

23 shares on X this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The world started without permission again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Going bananas on Threads:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just shared via Instagram:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Going bananas on X:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Breaking via Pinterest:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

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