Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Trending via Snapchat:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Making waves on Twitch:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living that gazebro life because man caves are so last season 💁‍♂️🏞 #GazeBroGoals"

afford, budget, cave, gazebro, home, humor, man, man cave, outdoor, outdoor space, relaxation, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

53 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Live now on Threads:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Just shared via YouTube:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via Slack:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

In banana years, I am bread.

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Keep the laugh going 😂

In banana years, I am bread.

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨