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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Trending via Discord:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Trending via Discord:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about settling for a "gazebro" instead of a man cave, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living that gazebro life because man caves are so last season 💁‍♂️🏞 #GazeBroGoals"

afford, budget, cave, gazebro, home, humor, man, man cave, outdoor, outdoor space, relaxation, space

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65 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Making waves on WeChat:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Spotted on Instagram:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Live now on Telegram:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Spotted on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨