Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.
  • There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
  • A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.
  • Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.
  • Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.
  • Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.