Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Trending via TikTok:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Just landed via WeChat:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Going viral on Messenger:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Making waves on Instagram:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Shared recently on X:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just landed via Telegram:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Well, at least that broken shrimp is keeping busy with some gourmet meal prep! 🍤🍚 Who knew shrimp could double as a chef? 😂"

absurdity, broken, cooking, day, even, food, fry, humor, irony, rice, shrimp, twice

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

68 shares on X this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

59 shares on Threads this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Trending via TikTok:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Live now on Discord:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Trending via Discord:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Going viral on Twitch:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Just landed via Reddit:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Seen just now on X:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

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Activity Log ✨

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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