Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Shared recently on Messenger:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Spotted on Discord:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Trending via Reddit:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Just landed via Slack:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Trending via Twitch:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Going viral on Messenger:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Making waves on Snapchat:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least that broken shrimp is keeping busy with some gourmet meal prep! 🍤🍚 Who knew shrimp could double as a chef? 😂"

absurdity, broken, cooking, day, even, food, fry, humor, irony, rice, shrimp, twice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

0

2 months ago

90, diet, fact, food, fun, fun fact, health, help, humor, junk, junk food, know, lifestyle, live, lose, motivation, sarcasm, will to live
I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

0

2 months ago

alone, box, break, break room, donut, donuts, food, humor, i, indulgence, person, room, temptation, workplace
Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

0

2 months ago

actually, am, ass, awkwardness, bed, bed frame, embarrassment, frame, i, me, neighbors, popularity, shoutout, sound, squeaky
I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

0

2 months ago

adopt, driveway, highway, humor, i, own, raise, ready, responsibility
Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, being, body, body noise, coming, figure, health, humor, life, noise, old, old age, senior, senior life, trying, why
I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

0

2 months ago

collector, debt, hate, humor, i, let, past, people, sarcasm, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

75 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

100 shares on Threads this month:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Spotted on Threads:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Spotted on WeChat:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Just landed via Telegram:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going viral on Slack:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Spotted on Facebook:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨