CAMBRIDGE—Researchers at MIT have confirmed suspicions of the pinky toe’s exclusive purpose: to bang against every piece of furniture. “It’s like a heat-seeking missile for table legs,” explained Dr. Elaine Thompson. “Nature’s cruel joke.”
Dr. Thompson elaborated, saying that the pinky toe’s sensitivity is unparalleled by any other body part. “We suspect it’s an ancient survival strategy, like feeling heartbreak twice as hard.”
Future studies will aim to find out if the elbow’s tendency to find door frames is another evolutionary mystery. “Until then, keep your furniture padded,” advised Dr. Thompson. “It’s self-defense against your own anatomy.”