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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ŪðŸ‡ą has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from ðŸ‡ŪðŸ‡đ has copied:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on PokÃĐmon Go.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡ŧ has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŪðŸ‡ą has shared:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇷🇞 has copied:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡Ķ has downloaded:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩ🇎 has downloaded:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡§ has viewed:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŊðŸ‡ī has shared:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡ļ has viewed:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

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Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Broadcasted on Threads:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just shared via Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

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Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

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Users Online

3,438

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Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇊 has shared:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ū has viewed:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇎🇞 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ŋ has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇭ðŸ‡đ has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŦðŸ‡Ū has bookmarked:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from ðŸ‡ēðŸ‡ū has copied:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from ðŸ‡ē🇞 has shared:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Trending via Facebook:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Just shared via X:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Just landed via Threads:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Shared recently on Discord:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Live now on YouTube:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Just shared via WeChat:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

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