Funny quotes age

201 Funny age quotes

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

4 days ago

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

1 week ago

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

1 week ago

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

1 week ago

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

2 weeks ago

I am cassette tape years old.

2 weeks ago

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

2 weeks ago

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

1 month ago

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

1 month ago

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

1 month ago

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

1 month ago

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

1 month ago

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

1 month ago

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

1 month ago

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

1 month ago

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

1 month ago

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

1 month ago

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

2 months ago

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

2 months ago

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

2 months ago

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

2 months ago

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

2 months ago

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

2 months ago

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

2 months ago

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

2 months ago

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

3 months ago

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

3 months ago

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

3 months ago

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

3 months ago