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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Making waves on Telegram:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Spotted on Messenger:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Just landed via X:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Live now on Messenger:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

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