Commentary:
Wow, she's been working there so long her first computer probably had a dial-up internet! 🖥️📞😄
46 Funny alive quotes
Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?
Commentary:
Who needs a cat's nine lives when you've got childhood antics keeping you on your toes! 🤸♂️😅🧁
The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.
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Finding that perfect level of chaos in life where it's 'ouch' instead of 'ouchouchouchOMG!' 😅🔨
I woke up alive again.
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Living the dream, one accidental success at a time! 😂🎉💤
What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)
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Living in the future feels like being in a sci-fi movie, but I'm the unpaid intern! 🚀🤖💸
Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.
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When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.
Commentary:
No commercials needed; the fortune cookies spread the word! 🍜🥠🤣
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.
Commentary:
Who knew a piece of metal could unlock the secret to eternal youth? 🔩😂🎉
As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.
Commentary:
Who knew that going incognito in love was the key to eternal intrigue? Just call me "Mystery McMysteriousface." 🕵️♂️💘
Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.
Commentary:
"Just waiting for my Fitbit to start demanding I feed it, or worse, clean up after it! 😂🐾 #HumanGochi"