Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Trending via Twitch:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Spotted on X:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Just landed via Facebook:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Funny all-forgetting quotes

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All funny all-forgetting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

83 shares on Slack this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Making waves on TikTok:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Seen just now on TikTok:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

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