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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

16 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Trending via Pinterest:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just landed via Threads:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Shared recently on Facebook:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Just shared via Threads:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Just landed via X:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Home » Funny Always Quotes

228 Funny always quotes

Funny always quotes are all about those habits or situations that never seem to change — no matter how much we wish they would! 🙄😂 Whether it’s always being late, always forgetting your keys, or always saying “just one more episode,” these quotes remind us that some things are just a constant source of humor. Guess some things are just meant to stay the same! 😂🔁⏰

New funny always quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Commentary:
When everyone in the coffee shop knows your name… and your alibi! ☕👀🔍
4 days ago
Share →: I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Commentary:
Always ready for bed, just like a professional napper extraordinaire! 🛌😴🔋
6 days ago
Share →: I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Commentary:
Sounds like your wifi needs a GPS to find the land of milk and honey! 🗺️📡📶
6 days ago
Share →: Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Commentary:
Time to trade in my work shoes for orthopedic ones, but watch out—Monday still sneaks up like a ninja! 😂👟➡️🩼
6 days ago
Share →: There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Commentary:
Just when I thought I captured my good side, my camera said, "Plot twist!" 📸🤪
7 days ago
Share →: Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Commentary:
Guess I'll save my greatest love for karaoke night! 🎤😂
1 week ago
Share →: When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆
1 week ago
Share →: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Commentary:
That moment you realize snacks are your true love language 🥨❤️🍫
1 week ago
Share →: Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
1 week ago
Share →: Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆‍♂️

For even more funny always quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny always quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

16 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Just shared via Discord:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Going viral on Messenger:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

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