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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

309 Funny always quotes

Funny always quotes are all about those habits or situations that never seem to change β€” no matter how much we wish they would! πŸ™„πŸ˜‚ Whether it’s always being late, always forgetting your keys, or always saying “just one more episode,” these quotes remind us that some things are just a constant source of humor. Guess some things are just meant to stay the same! πŸ˜‚πŸ”β°

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

β€œYou’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I don’t care if it’s clichΓ©, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The problem is I am always the problem.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

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