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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

309 Funny always quotes

Funny always quotes are all about those habits or situations that never seem to change β€” no matter how much we wish they would! πŸ™„πŸ˜‚ Whether it’s always being late, always forgetting your keys, or always saying “just one more episode,” these quotes remind us that some things are just a constant source of humor. Guess some things are just meant to stay the same! πŸ˜‚πŸ”β°

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always β€œNever.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I hate when people tell me I need to β€œget out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep β€” and that’s so irritating.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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