Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"
4 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
4 months ago
Share →: If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day Morse code of friendship: missed calls and unread text messages! 📱😄 Don't worry, I'll be there in spirit, just a few notifications away! 🚀📵 #FriendshipGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the art of finding a bench in a museum – truly a masterpiece within a masterpiece! 🖼️🪑 Who knew that sitting down could enhance one's appreciation of fine art? Perhaps the true masterpiece is the bench itself, offering tired museum-goers a moment of respite in the midst of cultural contemplation. 🎨🤣
4 months ago
Share →: Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Commentary:
"Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? 🌙 Maybe they're just trying to keep their cool until they discover the ultimate light source – the sun! ☀️ Watch out moth world, the big reveal is coming!"
4 months ago
Share →: I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you have haters to let you know you're on fire? 🔥😄 #HotterThanHaters #BurninUp"
5 months ago
Share →: People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Commentary:
"Remember, it’s not crazy if there’s a method to the madness! 🤓📚 Embrace your inner bookworm and research enthusiast, even if others think you're a bit eccentric. Knowledge is power, after all! 💡😆 #CrazyButSmart"
5 months ago
Share →: It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Commentary:
"Who knew a tiny mosquito could teach us such a valuable lesson in diplomacy and self-control 🦟🤭 Always remember, violence is never the answer, especially when sensitive areas are involved! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Commentary:
"Ah, living life on the edge just like the stock market – on the verge of a dramatic crash at any moment! 📉💥 Better keep those seatbelts fastened tight and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of unpredictability! 🎢😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the dark and devious laundry – the ultimate ninja of household tasks! 🧺⚔️ Never underestimate its stealthy ways as it waits in the shadows, ready to strike when you least expect it! Beware the menacing piles of socks and the cunning conspiracy of missing socks! 😂 #LaundryNinja"