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New funny quotes: 10 this month

15,835 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 19, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

309 Funny always quotes

Funny always quotes are all about those habits or situations that never seem to change — no matter how much we wish they would! 🙄😂 Whether it’s always being late, always forgetting your keys, or always saying “just one more episode,” these quotes remind us that some things are just a constant source of humor. Guess some things are just meant to stay the same! 😂🔁⏰

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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