128 Funny away quotes

• My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

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  8 hours ago

  animal, anxiety, avoid, away, contact, eye, eye contact, greeting, hello, hope, humor, i, instinct, introvert, person, say, social, social anxiety

• “In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

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  8 hours ago

  away, distance, enticing, escape, far, far away, galaxy, humor, sci-fi, sound, space, star, Star Wars, starting, wars

• Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

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  13 hours ago

  animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation

• Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

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  13 hours ago

  Adele, away, cloud, drifting, fluffy, hard, lullaby, morning, night, sleeping, soft, while, why

• I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

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  14 hours ago

  animal, away, beef, bring, cat, cat food, cow, ego, food, house, humor, i, kind, need, pet, point, stay

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

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  17 hours ago

  advice, away, cleaning, disgusting, dish, dish sponge, hear, hygiene, i, kitchen, know, needs, sponge, throw

• I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

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  19 hours ago

  away, chat, creature, creatures, exhaustion, forest, forest creature, friend, group, group chat, humor, introvert, social, social exhaustion, vanish, woods

• It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

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  23 hours ago

  almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe

• Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

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  24 hours ago

  away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling

• I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

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  1 day ago

  advice, away, box, came, hear, humor, i, know, millennial, need, needs, never, phone, throw, throw away

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