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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 seconds ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Freshly posted on X:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Reported on TikTok:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Trending via Discord:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Making waves on YouTube:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Home » Funny Away Quotes

98 Funny away quotes

Funny away quotes 😄✈️ are your passport to laughter on the go! Whether you’re daydreaming about tropical escapes or just need a giggle during your daily commute, these humorous quips will tickle your travel bug and your funny bone. Perfect for sharing with friends or keeping in your back pocket for a quick chuckle, they’re the ultimate carry-on for your sense of humor. Ready to embark on a journey of joy and jests? Let’s take off! 🌍😂

New funny away quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
6 days ago
Share →: The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Commentary:
I guess they didn't have "train-ing" for that back then! 🚂😱😂
6 days ago
Share →: Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣
6 days ago
Share →: A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Commentary:
Sounds like she's mastered the art of stealth fitness! 🛌🏃‍♀️😂
7 days ago
Share →: I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Commentary:
Why get too close? I'm just practicing social distancing with curbs! 🚗😂
1 week ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Commentary:
Talking to flowers? At least they won’t talk behind your petals! 🌻🗣️🌼
1 week ago
Share →: Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Phone-nappers! 📱🕵️‍♂️🚨
1 week ago
Share →: If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Commentary:
"When the printer jams again: 🤫🔮 'The prophecy has been fulfilled,' and exit stage left! 👋😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Commentary:
"Sounds like your ex-wife's taking 'bombshell' to a whole new level! 💣😅 #RadioactiveRomance"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Commentary:
"Filing taxes just got a *lot* more explosive! 💥💣😅 #StayOnTheirGoodSide"

For even more funny away quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny away quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 seconds ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Trending via YouTube:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Going viral on Instagram:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Making waves on X:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

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