Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of hoarding in the digital age! Screenshots meticulously filed away like buried treasure, just waiting for that 'Aha!' moment 📸💻 Don't worry, I'm pretty sure your husband's collection of old cords will come in handy too… one day 🤣🔌 #TechLife #DigitalPackRat"
6 months ago
Share →: Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Commentary:
"Trying to escape reality like a boss 😎🚪🔒 Who needs freedom when you've got cozy solitude inside an escape room? 🤷‍♂️ #ProfessionalEscapist"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Commentary:
Oh dear, watch out for those sneaky donuts! 🍩🐘 Looks like someone's dodging the elephant-sized truth with a bit of sugary distraction. Time to reevaluate the snack choices before becoming part of the jungle 🌳!
6 months ago
Share →: I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Commentary:
"Autocorrect, keeping you on your toes with its own delightful interpretation of the English language 🤪🔤 Don't you just love those unexpected surprises? 😂 #AutocorrectFail"
6 months ago
Share →: Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Commentary:
"Imagine the romance, the passion, the missed opportunities zipping by like trains in the night! 🚄💔 Don't worry, love may not be on track yet, but at least you'll always have the speeding ticket of your heart! ❤️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of toasting – a delicate dance between impatience and charred disappointment. 🍞⏳ One must possess the perfect blend of vigilance and nonchalance to achieve the elusive state of golden brown perfection. 🔥🙈 After all, there's a fine line between a well-toasted slice and a fire hazard waiting to happen! 🔥🚫 Remember, while the toast might take its sweet time, life moves fast – so never miss
6 months ago
Share →: After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Commentary:
Well, they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, a court order 💌🚫🤣 Hopefully, Jude Law's response will be worth framing! 🖼️ #StalkerFanGoals
6 months ago
Share →: There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' innocent game of ding-dong-ditch 🚪🏃‍♂️ has certainly evolved in modern times! Now, if you hear a knock on your door and find no one there, don't be too quick to blame mischievous kids – it might just be your friendly neighborhood Amazon driver on a stealthy delivery mission! 📦🕵️‍♂️ Just make sure to check for your package before chasing after them
6 months ago
Share →: After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Commentary:
"Listening to true crime podcasts: turning armchair detectives into potential masterminds since forever 🔍🎧🕵️‍♂️ #CrimePodcastJunkie #DontMessWithUs"
6 months ago
Share →: Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Commentary:
"Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"