Adulthood is saying "but after this week things will slow down a bit" over and over until you die.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Commentary:
Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Commentary:
"Your honor, my client requests a brief recess to engage in a stimulating game of Candy Crush! 🍭⚖️ Let's admit it, even justice could use a little swipe and tap now and then. #PhoneDefenseWinning"

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Commentary:
"Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy"

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Commentary:
"Dentist appointments feel like a strange blind date – except instead of a romantic dinner, it's a root canal 😬🦷 Let's hope they don't find any skeletons in your closet… I mean, your mouth! 😂"

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Commentary:
"Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Commentary:
Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary "food" and ready to greet the fancy "cuisine"? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's on a diet – they're probably yogurt-ing their way to a healthier lifestyle! 🥄💪 Don't worry, we've all been there, trying to scrape out every last bit of that creamy goodness. It's like a yogurt treasure hunt! 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, you're one step closer to your summer bod with every swipe of that spoon! 💃🍦

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of having an inferiority complex that even feels inadequate itself! 🤣 Clearly, this complex needs to up its game and learn a thing or two about being more confident. Maybe it should take notes from the overachieving superiority complex next door! 😉"

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks