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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Seen just now on Slack:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Just shared via Messenger:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Going viral on Telegram:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Just landed via YouTube:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Trending via Slack:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Trending via Pinterest:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Making waves on WeChat:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Funny botanical set quotes

New funny botanical set quotes 👇

All funny botanical set quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Just shared via X:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Live now on Reddit:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Trending via WhatsApp:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Live now on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

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