Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.