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Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Freshly posted on X:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Trending via Facebook:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going viral on WeChat:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Just shared via TikTok:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Trending via X:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,681

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Spotted on Pinterest:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Trending via Threads:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Spotted on Reddit:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Spotted on Facebook:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Seen just now on Slack:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

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