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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

36 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Going viral on Telegram:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Going viral on Reddit:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just landed via Slack:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Making waves on Facebook:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Home » Funny Chance Quotes » Page 3

22 Funny chance quotes

More funny chance quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate race to the inbox! 🏁 Will you be the trailblazer in this brave new world of nudie selfies, or will you take your time to craft the perfect angle? 📸 Either way, embrace this historic opportunity with camera-ready confidence! 🤳😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Commentary:
Why waste your breath when silence can speak volumes? 🤐💬 Sometimes the best words are the ones left unspoken. Take a pause, let your silence do the talking! 🤫👀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

36 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Seen just now on Slack:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Going viral on Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Live now on Pinterest:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Reported on Threads:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

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