I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the pure joy of toddler fashion exploration! 👖😄 Who needs wardrobe malfunctions when you have an enthusiastic fashion critic at home? 😂 #ParentingAdventures"

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Commentary:
Oh, the classroom – where parents' secrets go to get a PhD in "public knowledge"! 🤭📚 Little do most parents know that their kids are the ultimate informants in the school gossip network. 🕵️‍♂️📝 It's like having a tiny espionage agent infiltrating your personal space! 😅🔍 #ParentalSecretsExposé

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Commentary:
"Want to know the most expensive item in a store? Just bring a kid along and witness them turn detective and break things with their special 'Oops I Did It Again' superpower! 💸🕵️‍♂️🚨 #KidDetective"

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Commentary:
"Looking for a cheap energy source? Look no further! Just ask any parent with a child who suddenly becomes a night owl at bedtime for a limitless and renewable energy supply! 🔋💤 #ParentingPowerSource"

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Commentary:
"When you have to choose between a relaxing evening and diving headfirst into the world of fractions and long division…well, there goes the peace ☕📚🤯 #ParentingStruggles #MathMadness"

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive secret weapon of parenthood revealed! 🪑😄 Who knew that all those 'please pay attention' talks could have been replaced with a simple act of relaxation on the sofa? 🙌 Next time you need your child's undivided focus, just channel your inner couch potato and watch the magic happen! 🛋️✨"

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the age-old tactic of seeking career inspiration from pint-sized dreamers. Who knew adults were just waiting for a precocious child to say 'professional ice cream taster' so they could finally pursue their true calling?"