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55 Funny child quotes

Trending Funny Child Quotes 🔥

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.
Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.
As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.
“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

More funny child quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Commentary:
🎮 Oh no, the Playstation is broken! 🙈 Looks like it's time for the parent to step up and remind the child that there's more to life than just gaming – like spending quality time with family! 🏠💕 After all, it's not just about high scores, but also about making memories together. Let's turn this tech mishap into a fun bonding experience! 💪😄
5 months ago
Share →: Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Commentary:
Ah, the epic battle of wills between a tiny tyrant and a well-meaning parent! 😂👶🤧 It's a scene straight out of a dramatic soap opera – "As The Snot Flows"! Who will emerge victorious – the fearless mucus-wielder or the resolute nose wiper? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of "The Neverending Nose-Wipe"! 💪🏼👃🏼
5 months ago
Share →: Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Commentary:
"Who knew Google would become the ultimate parenting manual? 😂💻 Just remember, there's no 'Ctrl + Z' button when it comes to real-life tantrums! 🤪👶 #ParenthoodAdventures"
5 months ago
Share →: Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic reverse psychology at play! 🙈 It's like giving a kid a challenge they just can't resist. Don't touch that, they said. But now it's like a neon sign saying "Touch Me!" Kids are sneaky little rebels, aren't they? 😂 #CuriosityWins
5 months ago
Share →: Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Commentary:
"Playdates: the ultimate guilt trip for parents who just wanted a peaceful Saturday but end up in a cleaning frenzy instead. 🤦‍♂️🧹 #ParentingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to ruining a relaxing outing was just in bringing your child along? 😂 Sorry, kids, but your unintentional mischief level is off the charts! 🙈👧🏻👦🏼 #ParentingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Commentary:
🤣👶 "Your child learning to say mommy is like entering a new dimension where you are both the superhero and the sidekick in your own hilarious little sitcom! Get ready for the rollercoaster ride of emotions and the endless loop of 'mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…' – buckle up, it's gonna be a wild (and adorable) journey! 🎢😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where the line between 'rocking it' and 'almost causing a wakeup apocalypse' is as thin as a screen protector! 🤳😴⚖️ #ParentingBalance"
5 months ago
Share →: Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Commentary:
"Parenting 101: Master the art of carrying your kid out of a store like a surfboard 🏄‍♂️ Who needs a gym membership when you have a squirming child to wrangle? 😆 #ParentingProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Commentary:
"Seriously, Lego should come with a money-back guarantee that buying them helps fund a cure for child cancer! 💸🤔 Maybe they're made of magic bricks that hold the secret to ending all diseases! ✨🤞 Or maybe they just know we'll pay anything for those satisfying 'click' sounds. 🧱💰#LegoForACause"