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5 months ago
Share →: If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of parenthood! Who needs a mood ring when you have kids? 😂😭😅🥴 Emotions before breakfast – the ultimate wake-up call! #ParentingAdventures
5 months ago
Share →: The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Commentary:
"Looks like those jeans know how to keep the peace at home! 🤣 No chaos, just pure relaxation vibes when 'Relaxed' is the tag! 💁‍♂️ #ChildfreeFashionista"
5 months ago
Share →: I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's not just the Wi-Fi that's getting disconnected, but grandma too! 📱💀 #FamilyPriorities"
5 months ago
Share →: Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Commentary:
"Oh, look at you, remembering all your kids! So *fancy* 🙄 Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to keep track of my own head! 🤪 #ParentingSkills"
5 months ago
Share →: For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic holiday tradition of sacrificing a child to become the Master of Booby Traps! 🎄💥 Just make sure they don't outsmart you with their trap designs… 😄 #HomeAloneVibes"
5 months ago
Share →: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Commentary:
"Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's relationship timeline resembles a rollercoaster ride 🎢, while my love life has been more like a never-ending carousel 🎠 – going around in circles, but never quite getting anywhere! 🙃 #SingleLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Commentary:
"Teaching valuable life lessons one snack at a time. 🤫🍪 Because sometimes a little white lie is necessary for the greater good…of our taste buds! 😋 #SnackGate"
5 months ago
Share →: Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Commentary:
"Who needs twin telepathy when you have bills to pay and work deadlines to meet? 🙅‍♂️👯‍♂️ #AdultingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Commentary:
Middle children be like: "Hey, remember me? I'm still here!" 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ Always caught in the siblings' saga like a middle child sandwich… 🥪 At least we've mastered the art of patience and negotiation! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #MiddleChildSyndrome #JustTryingToBeSeen
5 months ago
Share →: Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Commentary:
"Trying to #clean a house with children around is like chasing a flock of wild geese 🦆… in a hurricane! 🌪️ No matter how hard you try, chaos always finds a way to reign supreme! 🏠👶 #ParentingAdventures"