53 Funny children quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the pure joys of parenthood! 😂👩‍👧‍👦 Who knew that embarrassing your kids could be such a rewarding pastime? Just another perk of getting older – gaining more opportunities to hilariously mortify your offspring! 😜🙈 #ParentingGoals #LittleJoys

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

  Commentary:
  "Kids these days, always so generous! 😷🤒 Who needs gifts when you can get a cold instead? Talk about a special delivery! 🎁😂 #ParentingPerks"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ancient art of parenting: Establish dominance by unleashing your inner 'whine-master' 🤣👑 Who knew the key to ruling the playground was a well-timed meltdown? 🤪 #ParentingProTips"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs milk teeth when you could have adult teeth to match your adulting skills! 🦷💁‍♂️ Time to level up in the tooth game, kids! 😉 #AdultingIsHard"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

  Commentary:
  "Women are like human calculators, knowing their kids' stats down to the decimal point, while men are just trying to keep up with the tiny tornadoes running amok in the house 🤷‍♂️📆. Who needs detailed info when you've got chaos and cuteness in equal measure?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

  Commentary:
  "Working with children is truly a rewarding experience. Who wouldn't want the gift of lice in exchange? 🦗💆‍♂️ It's the ultimate job perk, right? Just a little something extra to keep you on your toes! 😂 #LifeOfAChildcareProvider"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical art of utilizing your parental powers for ice cream acquisition 🍦😄 Dad level: expert! Who needs to sneak sweets when you've got mini accomplices ready to 'help' with the cravings? 😂 #DadLife #IceCreamGate"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

  Commentary:
  "Step aside, spaghetti and potatoes, your 'small, chubby children' gnocchi are here to steal the culinary spotlight! 🍝🥔😄 Let's embrace the deliciously adorable offspring of Italian cuisine with open arms and empty stomachs!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

  Commentary:
  "🏠💡 The real secret to a clean home? Keep the husband and kids OUT! 😂 That way, the mess magically disappears and you can enjoy your sparkling sanctuary in peace! ✨ #CleaningHack"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

  Commentary:
  "Because when it comes to crisis management, women and children are the pros at getting out of dodge while the men finally have some peace and quiet to brainstorm… or so they think! 🚺🧒🧑🏻‍🦰🧔🏻💭💡"

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