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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Reported on Snapchat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Reported on WhatsApp:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Just shared via Messenger:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Going viral on Discord:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Messenger:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Going viral on Instagram:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Making waves on X:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Just landed via Slack:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Just shared via X:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Reported on TikTok:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Seen just now on Twitch:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spotted on Facebook:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

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