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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

51 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Making waves on YouTube:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Making waves on Discord:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Reported on Messenger:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Trending via Threads:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Just shared via Telegram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Breaking via Facebook:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Home » Funny Contemplate Quotes

Funny contemplate quotes

New funny contemplate quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of human relationships. 🤣 Just when you think you've met that special someone, they make you consider extreme measures. 💔🔪 Remember, it's all part of life's rollercoaster ride… or crime thriller novel! 😜 #RelationshipDrama"

For even more funny contemplate quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny contemplate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

51 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Live now on Slack:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just shared via X:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Spotted on Slack:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Making waves on Messenger:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Just shared via X:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

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