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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,959

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Seen just now on Instagram:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Going viral on Threads:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Going viral on Reddit:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Making waves on TikTok:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Trending via Twitch:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Home » Funny Contemplate Quotes

Funny contemplate quotes

Funny contemplate quotes are the perfect blend of deep thoughts and belly laughs 🤔😂. They make you pause, smile, and rethink life’s little mysteries with a playful twist 🎭💡. Whether you’re in need of a quick mood boost or a clever icebreaker, these witty gems will tickle your brain and brighten your day 🌟🧠. Ready to chuckle while you ponder? Let’s dive into some hilarious reflections!

New funny contemplate quotes 👇

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

0

1 month ago

contemplate, existence, live, mindfulness, miracle, nature, nostalgia, nothing, oh, relaxation, seashore, simpler, simpler time, sit, time, times
Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

0

2 months ago

contemplate, friendship, humor, irony, life, meet, murder, occasionally, people, relationships, someone, special

All funny contemplate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Going viral on Instagram:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Going bananas on Discord:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Just shared via Threads:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Making waves on Facebook:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Going bananas on X:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Live now on Discord:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Just shared via YouTube:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

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