Commentary:
"Who needs apples when you've got silliness to ward off the doctor and boredom alike? 🍎🤪 Keep the giggles coming to stay in tip-top shape! 😄 #SillyIsTheNewHealthy"
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'elbow waterfall' maneuver in every face washing routine – a truly exhilarating experience for all, except maybe your elbow! 🚿💦😄"
Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day struggle of counting down to Christmas not with sweet treats, but with closed work tabs! 🎄💻 Who knew our digital lives could serve as a quirky advent calendar alternative? Just make sure not to accidentally close the wrong tab and lose all that hard-earned progress! 😅 #TechSavvyCelebrations"
Commentary:
"Who needs job satisfaction when you have a reliable coffee machine and a scenic drive to look forward to? ☕️🚗 Remember, caffeine and road rage make the perfect recipe for workday survival! 😂"

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.
Commentary:
"Who knew that golf could be the ultimate stress reliever for the older crowd? 🏌️♂️⛳ Maybe we should all take up golf to let off some steam instead of endlessly whacking the snooze button in the morning! 😂"
Commentary:
"Ah, the blissful 5 seconds of morning amnesia – when you can pretend to be anyone you want before reality hits 🌅😂 Embrace the mystery and make the most of those fleeting moments of identity crisis!"
Commentary:
"Who needs an apple when you can have a garlic? 😂 Just make sure to keep the vampires at bay too! 🧛♂️ #ForgetTheAppleADay"

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.
Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred transition from hair accessory to snack guardian! 🌙🦀 Because who needs beauty sleep when you can have crispy chips instead? 😂 #Priorities"

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.
Commentary:
Living with parents: saving you from the inconvenience of being startled by an alarm clock since forever. It's like having your own personal alarm clock that comes with a pre-announcement service!