Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

13 Funny daily routine quotes

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

1 month ago

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

1 month ago

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

2 months ago

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

2 months ago

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

2 months ago

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

3 months ago

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

3 months ago

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

3 months ago

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

3 months ago

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

3 months ago

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

3 months ago

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

3 months ago

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

3 months ago