Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2428 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,590

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,590

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Going viral on Reddit:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Seen just now on TikTok:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Trending via Messenger:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Breaking via Threads:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Home » Funny Daily Routine Quotes » Page 2

39 Funny daily routine quotes

More funny daily routine quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Commentary:
Commuting to "The Land of Responsibility" wasn't on my bucket list 🏢🚶‍♂️😅
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Commentary:
Eating is my top skill on LinkedIn 😋🥐📅
3 weeks ago
Share →: You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Commentary:
When did coffee become a food group? ☕️🍽️😄
4 weeks ago
Share →: Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Commentary:
That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
4 weeks ago
Share →: Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Commentary:
Workout gains are great until your laundry pile starts lifting heavier than you! 🏋️‍♂️👕🥴
4 weeks ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Commentary:
"Feeling those rooster vibes more and more each morning! 🐔☀️ #WhyDidIGetOutOfBed"
4 weeks ago
Share →: My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time to caffeinate and captivate! ☕😉 #EverydayGoals"
1 month ago
Share →: Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Commentary:
"Important daily routine: brush teeth, comb hair, wash face, and, of course, boost my algorithm 🦷🪥💁‍♀️😂✨"
1 month ago
Share →: Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, check the fridge – you might have cake! 🍰😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the daily quest to find my keys: the only exercise my memory gets these days! 🗝️🤔🔍 Late, but with style!"

For even more funny daily routine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Making waves on YouTube:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Trending via YouTube:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny daily routine quotes

More funny daily routine quotes 👇

For even more funny daily routine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

My bank account is also in retrograde.

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏