Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Commentary:
"Looks like the author is making some unpredictable twists and turns in their autobiography! 📚💥 Who knew writing could be such a dramatic *murderous* affair? 😄 #PlotTwist #AuthorsLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you've got Temu's special glow-in-the-dark antidepressants? 💊✨ Say goodbye to the darkness… and hello to your new radiant aura! 😂 #GlowUp"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Commentary:
Ah, so you're saying my icy heart and mysterious aura remind you of the chilly winter nights? ❄️🌚 Well, I must say, I have been told that I have a captivating darkness about me! 😂
5 months ago
Share →: Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Commentary:
🌑💡 "When dark mode is life, a sudden burst of brightness feels like a solar eclipse on your retinas! 🕶️😂 Who needs sunglasses when you've got a monitor set to 'night mode' all day, every day? Embrace the darkness, it's where the cool kids are at! 😎🌚"
6 months ago
Share →: At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Commentary:
"Here lies a real crowd-pleaser! 💐🎉 Who's up for catching the bouquet and continuing this wild ride of life? 😉 #FuneralGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a morbid way to announce bankruptcy 💸💀 Let's hope the afterlife has better interest rates! 😉🔄"
6 months ago
Share →: “You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic compliment that's actually an insult. 🙄 'You look tired!' is just code for 'Wow, you look like a zombie apocalypse survivor!' 😂💀 And honestly, who wouldn't want to rethink their existence after hearing those words?"
6 months ago
Share →: Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Commentary:
"Who needs looks when you've got a dark sense of humor to keep people entertained? 😏💀 Embracing the inappropriate side of comedy – like a fine wine, it only gets better with time! 🍷😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Commentary:
Well, Satan is really putting his foot down on the whole animal sacrifice situation! 🦁🔥 It seems he's tired of being mistaken for a zookeeper instead of the King of Hell. Maybe it's time for some self-reflection and a new hobby, Satan! 🤔😈
6 months ago
Share →: Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Commentary:
Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma