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94 Funny decision quotes

Trending Funny Decision Quotes 🔥

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.
Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.
Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

More funny decision quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Commentary:
"Parenting is like a never-ending game of 'Stairmaster: Toddler Edition' 🚼🚶‍♂️ Is that noise a sign of imminent disaster or just another false alarm? 😅🔊 #ParentingDilemmas"
5 months ago
Share →: The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between our inner genius and inner chaos! 🧠🌪️ It's like a dramatic tango between sensible decisions and spontaneous whims. 🕺💥 Will they ever find a harmonious balance, or are we doomed to forever grapple with our own comedic turmoil? Only time (and a solid dose of self-awareness) will tell! 😉🤹‍♂️
5 months ago
Share →: At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking the 'shot in the dark' approach to decision-making! 🎯🥃 Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a dart board and a bottle of liquor, right? Cheers to hoping for the best outcomes…and a steady hand! 🍻😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions! 🤔 Who needs productivity when there's a whole day of Netflix waiting for you? 😅 Procrastination game strong! 💪 #NotToday"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bottle when you've got a mind full of questionable choices? 🤪 Just remember, adventures can also be found on the sober side of life! 🌟 #LivingOnTheEdge"
5 months ago
Share →: I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to score a deal on groceries – just buy the whole store! 🛒💰 Who needs coupons when you can go straight to the source, right? 😂 #SmartShopper"
5 months ago
Share →: Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Commentary:
"Before asking your friend for a loan, make sure you're prepared to potentially lose both the money and the friend 🤔💰 Choose wisely, unless you enjoy some financial drama with a side of awkwardness! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Commentary:
"Who needs good decisions when you have queso to spice things up? 🧀😂 Just remember, sometimes the cheesiest choices are the most satisfying! 😏🔥 #QuesoForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Commentary:
"Deciding to embrace the parkour lifestyle seemed like a good idea at first 🏃‍♂️, until reality kicked in with a minor hiccup involving jeans 👖 and my coordination skills 🤦‍♂️. Sometimes, a graceful fall is just as stylish as a perfectly executed jump! 😅 #ParkourFail"
5 months ago
Share →: “Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Commentary:
"Deciding between fries or salad is essentially choosing between embracing your inner child or pretending to be an adult. 🍟 vs. 🥗 Who knew potato vs. lettuce could fuel such existential crises? #AdultingAtItsFinest"