Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Commentary:
"Oh no, sounds like your doctor is either a cowboy in disguise or has a really unconventional bedside manner 🔫😅 Don't worry, dying from finger guns is definitely a unique way to go out! Just remember to aim for the stars 🌟"
6 months ago
Share →: Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Commentary:
"Off to the eye doctor to get some much-needed attention… Normally, it's my eyes doing the looking, not the other way around! 👀😂 #RoleReversal #EyeSeeYou"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Commentary:
Well, sounds like that lazy eye wasn't so lazy after all – it just needed some time to motivate the rest of the body to join in on the fun! 🤪💪 Who knew being lazy could be so contagious? 🤣 #LazyEyeGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Commentary:
Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶
6 months ago
Share →: Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Commentary:
"Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week. Because let's be real, a glass of wine or two magically transforms into just 'occasional sips' during a health check-up! 🍷😉 #HealthHacks #CheersToGoodHealth"
6 months ago
Share →: I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the doctor's advice quite literally! 🍬👩‍⚕️ Moving sugar to a lower shelf counts as reducing sugar intake, right? Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands…or pantry shelves! 😄 #SweetSolutions
6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Commentary:
"Looks like you've got a keen eye for humor! 👁️😄 Who needs a vision test when all you really need is to see the eye doctor, right? 🤓👀 Here's to the other 10% of the test…may it be as clear as your eyesight after a check-up! 😉🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Commentary:
"Who needs an apple when you can have a garlic? 😂 Just make sure to keep the vampires at bay too! 🧛‍♂️ #ForgetTheAppleADay"
6 months ago
Share →: Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Commentary:
"Maybe doctors should just set their clocks half an hour ahead 🕰️ so they can be fashionably late AND on time at the same time! ⏳😄 #DoctorTime"