Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Just shared via Slack:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Making waves on X:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Shared recently on Discord:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Spotted on Facebook:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Seen just now on X:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Live now on Twitch:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Funny Doritos quotes

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New funny Doritos quotes 👇

All funny Doritos quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

82 shares on X this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

27 shares on Threads this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Just shared via Instagram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Spotted on Messenger:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Going viral on X:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Just shared via Messenger:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

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