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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

2 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Trending via Pinterest:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Just landed via Instagram:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Live now on WeChat:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Just shared via Discord:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Home » Funny Ear Quotes » Page 2

13 Funny ear quotes

More funny ear quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Commentary:
Haha, maybe one of your ears is just more of an audiophile than the other! 🎧🔋 Or perhaps one AirPod is secretly plotting to dominate your music playlist and silently drains its battery faster to assert its dominance! 🤔😂 Keep an eye on those mischievous pods! 🎵🎶
6 months ago
Share →: I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Commentary:
"May the ghost of Michael Jackson's iconic 'Hee-Hee' haunt your dreams with some moonwalking moves on repeat. 🌙👻🕺 Sweet dreams…or not! 😆"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're a professional dog ear folder, huh? 📚🐶 That's some impressive page marking skills you've got there! Maybe next time you'll reach a full-blown literary mutt 😆🐾 #DogEarMaster

For even more funny ear quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

2 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Just shared via X:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Going viral on YouTube:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Going viral on Twitch:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Just shared via X:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Trending via Slack:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Going viral on Facebook:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Reported on Reddit:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Spotted on Instagram:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

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