Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

29 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Seen just now on X:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Going viral on Slack:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Shared recently on Threads:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Trending via Facebook:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just landed via TikTok:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Breaking via X:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Home » Funny Fate Quotes

Funny fate quotes

Funny fate quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s unexpected moments 🎲😂 Whether destiny’s playing tricks or the universe has a quirky sense of humor, these witty sayings remind us to laugh along the way 🤪✨ Embrace the chaos, find the punchline in every surprise, and let fate’s funny side brighten your day! 🌟😄 #LOL #FateFails

New funny fate quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Commentary:
Are these angels typing or just leaving me on read? 😂✨💌
1 month ago
Share →: “Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Commentary:
"Poor 'rofl,' rolled away into the sunset, while 'lmao' is still laughing his… assets off! 😂🤣 #RIPROFL"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't sugarcoat it – I was born a straight shooter thanks to the universe's quirky sense of humor! 🌌🎲 #BluntAndRollingWithIt"
6 months ago
Share →: God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Commentary:
Oh, so God is out here playing 4D chess with your life plan, huh? 🤯 Maybe there's a divine purpose behind all these plot twists and turns – just roll with it, you might end up with a super cool story to tell! 🙏✨ #DivineComedyLivesOn
6 months ago
Share →: No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, they say! But fate be like: 'I'm awake before your alarm clock, honey!' ⏰😆 #FateAlwaysWins"
6 months ago
Share →: When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Commentary:
Ah, the circle of generational blame continues! 🔄 Let's blame Covid for all our questionable decisions in the future, just like we blame lead for the Boomers' quirky ways. It seems fate has a sense of humor! 😆 #GenerationalBlameGame

For even more funny fate quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny fate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

29 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Live now on Facebook:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Breaking via Facebook:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Trending via Reddit:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Just landed via TikTok:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Making waves on X:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Trending via Twitch:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Reported on WeChat:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴