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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Trending via Snapchat:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Making waves on Instagram:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Going viral on Reddit:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Trending via Slack:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Shared recently on Discord:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Funny fitted sheet quotes

Funny fitted sheet quotes bring a burst of laughter to the everyday struggle of bed-making 🛏️😂. From wrestling those stretchy corners to the eternal mystery of where the corners vanish, these witty lines capture the chaos and charm of fitted sheets perfectly! Ready to giggle at your bedding battles? Let’s dive into some hilarious truths that every sleepyhead can relate to 😴🎉.

New funny fitted sheet quotes 👇

All funny fitted sheet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

42 shares on X this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

74 shares on Threads this month:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

55 shares on X this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Trending via Facebook:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Going viral on Telegram:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Trending via Threads:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Trending via Facebook:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

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