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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2082 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,244

Funny Quotes Topics

14,983

Funny Quotes Images

12,244

Updated

34 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Just shared via Threads:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Just shared via Facebook:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Making waves on Discord:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Shared recently on Messenger:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Just landed via Snapchat:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Just landed via Discord:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2082 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,244

Funny Quotes Topics

14,983

Funny Quotes Images

12,244

Updated

34 seconds ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Reported on Discord:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Going viral on Slack:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

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