82 Funny friend quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

  Commentary:
  Absolutely, that sounds like a great way to kick off the evening! 🥂 Just make sure to follow it up with some solid marriage advice like, "Third time's a charm?". 😄 Wishing the couple all the best on their new journey together! 🎉 #WeddingHumor

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

  Commentary:
  "High school: where even your imaginary best friend has a better love life than you 🤖🕺 #PromDateGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of lorebombing, where exchanging life updates with a new friend in your thirties feels like sharing episodes from a TV series you both somehow missed! 📚🤝 It's like trying to binge-watch several seasons at once just to keep up with each other's 'plot twists'! #ThirtiesTales"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

  Commentary:
  "Lord of the Rings: A tale of a pint-sized hero with a golden heart and his unexpected travel buddy, Frodo – the ring bearer, the forever hungry, and the undisputed champion of 'worst travel companion ever' 🌟🍔 #AdventuresOfFrodoAndHisPersonalSpaceBubble"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting a teenager is like having an opinionated sidekick who critiques your every move… except they live with you. 🤔👯‍♂️ #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of "If you can't find a Matt, you're the Matt" situation! 🤔 It's like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, buddy, where's your Matt at?" 😅 Just remember, if you find yourself surrounded by non-Matts, well, you might just have to embrace your inner Mattness! 🧑🏻‍💼 #MattMystery

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

  Commentary:
  Looks like your imaginary friend ghosted you in the most imaginary way possible! 👻📝 Time to find a new pal who will stick with you through thick and thin (or thin air)! 😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling like the true MVP when your friend's mom holds you up as the shining beacon of responsibility and success 💪🏼🌟 Just call me the model citizen, setting the bar high for all the other mere mortals out there! 😂 #FlexedToTheMax"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish I had a friend like me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old dilemma of wanting a friend who's as awesome as you are 🤣 Who else can match your wit, charm, and impeccable taste in TV shows? Just imagine the epic adventures and brilliant conversations you'd have together! 🌟 But hey, on the bright side, at least you'll always win at rock-paper-scissors against yourself! 🏆😜"

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