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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Going bananas on YouTube:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Live now on Twitch:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Trending via Messenger:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Just landed via Telegram:

How do I un-know people?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Spotted on Pinterest:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Funny gateway quotes

Funny gateway quotes open the door to laughter and lighthearted vibes 😄🚪 Whether you’re stepping into new adventures or just escaping the daily grind, these witty sayings add a splash of humor to every journey 🌟✈️ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, get ready to giggle and grin as you explore the quirkiest takes on gateways and new beginnings! 😜🎉

New funny gateway quotes 👇

All funny gateway quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Discord this month:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

58 shares on X this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

31 shares on Facebook this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Live now on Discord:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Shared recently on Threads:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Just shared via TikTok:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

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