Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is weird and then you die.

Just landed via Instagram:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Trending via WeChat:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Just landed via Twitch:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Just shared via Telegram:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Breaking via Discord:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Going viral on TikTok:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Going viral on WeChat:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Funny handles quotes

Funny handles quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 😄 and personality to your online vibe! Whether you’re looking to stand out with a clever twist or just want to crack a smile 😂, these witty gems will inspire your next hilarious username or bio. Get ready to turn heads and spread good vibes with some seriously funny wordplay! 🎉💬

New funny handles quotes 👇

All funny handles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

25 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Shared recently on Telegram:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Going bananas on Slack:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Going viral on YouTube:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Just shared via Messenger:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

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