Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Commentary:
"Ah, you've got that 'dig deep' kind of vibe! 💪🪰 Who needs rock bottom when you've got a jackhammer handy, right? Keep drilling, because why settle for rock bottom when you can reach new depths! 🔨😄 #KeepDrilling"
6 months ago
Share →: Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Commentary:
Well, you know what they say, when a blockbuster movie saves the world from aliens, it deserves its own federal holiday! 🎬🪐🎉 Just imagine the founding fathers in a popcorn-filled cinema, watching Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saving the day – quite the historical moment! 🍿👽🇺🇸 #IndependenceDay2.0
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Commentary:
Oh, the mysteries of linguistic creativity! 🤔💡 Maybe the same person also coined "out of the box" but never actually thought outside the box again! 📦😂 The world may never know! 🌎🤷‍♂️
6 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of partying… 🕺🏼🛒 Who needs clubs when you can vibe to the sweet tunes of the produce aisle? 🎧🥦 Just imagine busting a move while picking out avocados! The grocery store is the new nightclub for the sophisticated palate. 💃🛒 #GroceryStoreGoals
6 months ago
Share →: They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggles of forbidden desires! 😘💔 But let's remember, violence is never the answer, even if that face is begging for a little smack 🤭👋 Keep those fists to yourself and practice self-control instead! 🧘‍♂️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Commentary:
"Autocorrect is my worst enema… I mean, enemy. 🤦‍♂️🌊 Don't worry, typos happen to the breast of us!"
6 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Commentary:
"By the time you hit your 80s, you'll be running for Congress… literally! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who says you can't be a political powerhouse in your golden years? Time to show those young guns what experience and a good pair of running shoes can do! 🌟 #SeniorCitizenInCongress"
6 months ago
Share →: Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Commentary:
I'm all for a good thrill, but I draw the line at becoming a human bumper sticker! 🚗💥🤕 Just imagine the hospital food and questionable fashion choices as you recover… But hey, at least you'll have a riveting story to tell at parties! 🏥😅 #LifeGoals
6 months ago
Share →: The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else's snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn't it? Just like how the neighbor's grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation
6 months ago
Share →: Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic paradox of a car nap – simultaneously rejuvenating and risky! 😴🚗 It's like a power nap with an element of danger thrown in for good measure. Just imagine waking up with a jolt and realizing you've been driving on autopilot… literally! Drive safe, nap safe, folks! 😅"